Grim yet Determined
Apr. 5th, 2013 10:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
marchan89Ever since I felt a sharp jab after a work colleague passed on my text message to the principal (AKA my mother) which drove her to push me against the wall one night, I lost faith in the institution. Things just got too personal here, between my mother and me, a group of my senior teachers who seems to dwell on hopes I will soon take over the school (ugh please) and another group of relatively new but still senior teachers who seems to be just there for the sake of work. I feel heavily scrutinized everywhere I go yet it seems people there can’t touch me because of my background. I AM NOT UNTOUCHABLE. I AM JUST ANOTHER NEWBIE. Yet it’s useless. Who am I kidding? I can never outrun the very thing that defines me. So be it.
I’m giving myself a year for a chance to take a step back from academic life for a different perspective. I have no intention of staying. In fact even if I haven’t made up my mind where I’ll go, I have clearly decided that I will only stay for a year and nothing more. I refuse to be in the shadows of someone else. Let me decide my own life and what I will do to give back to the community in my own way.
Until then, I will hang in there and smile every time they decide to draw my future again. Let them speak as they please. I have my own plans. Mine. Not theirs.
I’m giving myself a year for a chance to take a step back from academic life for a different perspective. I have no intention of staying. In fact even if I haven’t made up my mind where I’ll go, I have clearly decided that I will only stay for a year and nothing more. I refuse to be in the shadows of someone else. Let me decide my own life and what I will do to give back to the community in my own way.
Until then, I will hang in there and smile every time they decide to draw my future again. Let them speak as they please. I have my own plans. Mine. Not theirs.
